neverbeencool

I love the MAX.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been driving to work and parking next to cars that cost about 6x as much as my ride in my building’s garage (won a parking pass for the month). Now I miss the wonderful people I used to see every day…

People like Mr. Prison Bitch. Couple months ago, I was riding the Yellow Line back to Château Justin. Train was empty ‘cept for me and a dude who looked like he came straight out of a shower scene in Oz. Black dude with long braids, wearing pink pants and a tight, torn t-shirt. Sexy. I especially loved the way he’d sorta flip the braids over each shoulder whenever the voices started speaking to him from a different place.

Oh, yeah. The voices. Dude was batshit crazy. When he wasn’t singing to himself and dancing in his seat, he’d alternate between yelling at people he saw out the window and yelling at himself.

My favorite parts:

1. We passed a group of people standing at a bus stop and he screamed “you better step off-a Jesus!”
2. He started scratching himself and moaning like a porn star. I still feel dirty.
3. After the train passed a high school:

Him: “I used to go to that school.”
Him: “I can’t hear you, whatchu say?”
Him: “Shut yo’ shitty ass up. All you do is sit there and babble on.”

Where, oh where, are you, Prison Bitch?