neverbeencool

Again, I planned on writing about Carlos and the Chocolate Salami, and again, well, I’m not.

I’m tired. Can’t think straight. Every night this week, I’ve put in a few extra hours in the evenings working on real-job crap. But, since no anonymous donor has offered to pay me to maintain this dive and eat nachos all day, don’t really have a choice. Now you all suffer. Circle of life.

Random Thought 1: Texas

I have to fly to Texas again in a couple of weeks for work. These are decidedly Not Fun trips. Unless, of course, your idea of fun is spending a week or two in Diboll, Texas, population 5,470 and proud operators of one traffic signal. They also have a Sonic. There. Now you know everything there is to know about Diboll.

Being Big City Folk, I stay in near by Lufkin (population: 32,709), famous not only for not being Diboll, but also as home to Angelina College, alma mater of The Undertaker. Pretty sure they have a Sonic, too.

So, guess how much fun I’ll have when I’m down there? Yeah. None. Not only is there very little to do, but the people I know down there don’t drink, which means that I’ll be working all day and spending all night alone in the hotel, definitely not watching late night soft-core on HBO (hi, honey!).

Which brings us to…

Random Thought 2: Dry Counties

Last time I was in Texas, I had to spend some time in Jasper. You know, the place made famous a few years back when some local good ol’ boys killed a black man by dragging him along the street from the back of their pickup? Yeah. There.

Oh, it’s also a place that was hit pretty hard by Katrina a few years back, and where FEMA still has some people living in those wonderful trailers.

Worst thing about it, though? Jasper is a… God, I can’t type the words. It’s too horrible.

Jasper is a… dry county.

I… I still have a hard time with this concept. I mean, I’m from the Northwest. We drink beer. Lots of beer. And we make beer. Which we also drink.

My momma tried to tell me that dry counties don’t really exist. But they do.

Can you think of two other words that don’t belong together more than “dry” and “county?” The only two words that can defeat this awful foe? “Happy” and “hour.”

Random Thought 3: Dan Zanes

One last total change of pace thought. Next Friday, we’re taking Anikka to see Dan Zanes and Friends over at the Aladdin Theater. And, if last year’s show was any indication, it should be a hoot.

If you don’t know Dan Zanes, especially if you have youngish children, you’re absolutely missing out. Pop on over to his website and take a look around. Go on. I’ll wait.

DZ doesn’t make that Barney-type music that makes you want to shoot yourself in the face. None of that repetitive “kids” stuff, sung by kids, etc. Instead, he goes in a radical direction and (gasp) assumes your kid isn’t retarded. And that maybe, as a parent, you might want to actually have a snowball’s chance in Texas of enjoying the same music as your spawn.

Silja calls Zanes “Bob Dylan for Kids,” and I can’t think of a better description. Very folksy. Hell, a lot of the tracks are updated versions of Woody Guthrie tunes, or early traditional folk songs from various cultures (their new CD is all en español). And his original stuff maintains that same spirit. They’re songs you can sing along to, that encourage you to get up and dance around and around and around and around.

Oh, and the other folks in the band? Nicest people ever.

Last year, they played two shows here in PDX, and we had tickets to the early one. After the show finished, they had about an hour before the next one started. Oh, and they’d just come into town after playing a show in Seattle the previous day. They were tired, and hungry, with food waiting for them upstairs.

They could (should) have all ran off and taken care of themselves, but no. No, they all stuck around after the show, signing autographs for the kids, taking pictures, etc. And every last one of them was friendly and approachable. They all made the kids (and parents) feel like they were part of the party.

Quick little story… When they announced the tour dates last year, they didn’t initially schedule anything for Portland. We were willing to make the drive up to Seattle, though, so we bought tickets for that gig instead.

Several of the musicians touring with DZ had MySpace (yes, I agree, it’s the Devil) pages, and Silja made a comment on one of them that only said something like “Love your stuff, looking forward to seeing you in Seattle!” That was like 4-5 months before the show.

Couple of weeks later, they announced the Portland dates. We sold our Seattle tickets on craigslist and bought four for the PDX show.

After the show was over, we stuck around to wait for autographs and tell them all how fantastic they were (seriously, I’ve been to my share of adult concerts and this was one of the funnest shows I’ve ever seen). When we got to John Foti, he looked up, saw Anikka, and his eyes instantly lit up with recognition. “Hey! It’s my MySpace friend!” He then grabbed Charlie Faye and pulled her over.

Not only did they both remember Anikka, but they expected to see her after the Seattle show and noticed that she wasn’t there. They actually seemed concerned about missing her. Think Barney would give a kid that kind of attention?

Bottom line. If you have kids, buy them lots of DZ stuff. Get tickets for the shows. If you have friends with kids, buy them DZ stuff. Great for baby showers, etc. If you don’t, it’s totally your fault if they start listening to that other wheels-on-the-bus-go-round-and-round crap.

Or do drugs.

Or become prostitutes.

Or vote Republican.

Totally your fault.

Random Thought 4: Battlestar Galactica tonight

Like you’d forget. I think tonight they’ll finally reveal that the 12th Cylon killed Laura Palmer. Here’s hoping my old ass can stay up that late.