neverbeencool

Had to go to the doctor this morning.  About 18 months ago, they tested my cholesterol and found that I had enough in my body to kill an army of horses.
If the horses came in armies, that is.  I don’t think horses are smart enough to form armies.  Maybe small gatherings, sure, or the odd [...]

The wife and I went to a show this weekend and learned a very important lesson:

So here we are, not even a full week into the Justin Bikes to Work extravaganza, and already I’ve pussed out twice.  Weak.
Yesterday, I woke up pretty sore and stiff, so I thought that I’d be better off skipping the day and giving my weary and out-of-shape muscles a rest.  Plus my front brakes started [...]

No introduction I could ever write would be worthy of this invention.  It’s…  God, it’s just beautiful.  This patent needs to be granted ASAP and production must begin immediately.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…
Toilet Seat Cover Scale Device*
Screw curing cancer, we need to get our top minds on this right now.  NOW, God [...]

Problem with writing post-dated blog entries is that you never know what might happen between the time you finish writing and the time it publishes.  For instance, if I’d written something horrible and slanderous about George Carlin on Friday night and set it to post on Monday, I’d look like more of an ass than [...]