neverbeencool

Oh, bless you, train. I don’t know what I’d ever write about it is wasn’t for you. I totally understand now why that homeless guy was humping you the other day.

So this was the dude sitting in front of me this morning. I heart him so much. Not only did he work the unbathed-and-wreaking-of-six-cartons-of-Camels action to the fullest, but the hat? And the jacket? I’m all aflutter.

I just couldn’t ask for a better representative of all the things I hated about the last 8 years of politics in this country. The big ol’ “America” leather jacket, complete with Stars and Stripes wavin’ in the background, is simply delicious. You can tell this gentleman is a true Freedom Fries eatin’ Patriot.

And that hat…

Doesn’t get any better than that.

Yes, his message couldn’t be more clear if he wore a sandwich board around that said something witty and civil like “America: Love it or just go and fucking die, you pinko commie Arab-lovin’ homo literate bastards!”

Can’t you just imagine him and his ilk walking down the street after pounding a half-rack of Bud (because Real Americans don’t drink that foofoo yuppie shit) and screaming the theme to “Team America?”*

There’s just been so damn much of that attitude during the last two terms… The idea of the changes we have coming make me tingly inside. Say what you want about the two candidates, but I don’t see how you can’t feel that things will look up up up with either McCain or (hopefully) Obama calling the shots. I haven’t been this excited about a pending election since my runoff for the 2nd grade hall monitor gig.

*Ok, I’d totally be down with replacing the Star-Spangled Banner with the Team America theme. Best part of that whole damn movie. That didn’t involve poop.