16 Jun, 2008
The Gays are coming! The Gays are coming!
Posted by: Justin In: These are the people in my neighborhood...
Totally intended to wrap up the last two parts of the commercials thing I started last week, but after seeing this flying proudly across the street this weekend? How the Hell could I talk about commercials knowing that the Gays have crossed the border?!?
Yes, folks, the Gays have found our neighborhood. And you know what? We couldn’t be happier.
After all, they’ve moved into the house that previously brought us such memorable moments as ‘Drunken Meth Addict Resists Arrest’, ‘Honey, the Ambulance Is Across the Street Again’, and ‘Is It Your Turn to Call 911 or Mine?’ Oh, and let’s not forget ‘Night of the Half Dozen Police Cruisers’*, commemorated here:
We’re thrilled that the Gays have moved in, knowing our property value will double in the next few months as a result. It’s a proven fact. That one episode of Will and Grace thoroughly established what happens when the Gays move into a neighborhood, and we all know that TV wouldn’t lie.
There is one little hitch. The house they moved into? It’s been split into 54 different apartments and, as far as we know, there’s only one openly gay couple living there. I don’t think that’s a gay enough proportion to do much good. Maybe some of the rest of them will catch the Gay and help make the place fabulous. We can only hope.
Still, though, we’re encouraged. While the rest of the drunks and junkies in that place were passed out (shirtless) in their lawn chairs this weekend, the Gays were out (God, I wish I’d intended that pun…) fixing up the place, scraping off the trim (again, totally not intended…) and throwing down a new coat of paint. Nice to see that some of the people living in that shit-hole take some pride in their living conditions.
And on the same weekend as Portland Pride. Appropriate, no?
*Couldn’t fit them all in the shot. Likewise, you can’t see the junkie in cuffs on the porch.
