Why does Marvel insist on trying to make movies with certain characters after it’s become abundantly clear to audiences everywhere that they just aren’t going to fly?
And no, I’m not talking about the Hulk here. People have beaten that one to death. Nothing for me to say on the subject that 8 million critics and geeks haven’t already thrown out there.
Ok, maybe just this one thing… I have this theory about the Hulk and why you can’t make a decent movie about him.
<Hulk Rant>
What it boils down to is that the Hulk simply can’t be the Hero. He’s essentially pure, unadulterated rage set loose on the unsuspecting public. He’s not trying to help the common man or fight crime or teach kids about crack. You really can’t root for him the way you can for a Spider-Man or Batman or Wolverine or any other super-type.
And really, you can’t root against him, either, because he’s not inherently bad. We can relate to him enough because we understand the rage, and we know that what he’s doing isn’t really his fault. He doesn’t ravage cities out of malice or contempt, but simply because he’s like a force of nature. Because of that, we don’t really want to see him destroyed, either.
Since you can’t root for him and you can’t root against him, any external conflict he’s involved with becomes irrelevant. Sure, it’s fun to watch a CGI Hulk fuck shit up for a little while, but after your inner 12-year-old is sated, how do you occupy the other 80 minutes of screen time? The whole idea of the Hulk is about inner conflict, and that just doesn’t make good film.
</Hulk Rant>
But screw the Hulk. Let’s talk Punisher.
So this Christmas, Marvel’s releasing the 158th film adaptation of The Punisher. I’m not thrilled.
Let’s see… First, there was the 1989 version with Dolph “Ivan ‘I Must Break You’ Drago” Lundgren in the lead.
Then we had the 2004 version with Thomas “Who the hell is Thomas Jane?” Jane.
Now, we get Punisher War Zone, starring Ray Stevenson.
Don’t get me wrong, I dig the story. Frank Castle’s family is killed after they witness a mob killing in the park, and Castle decides to talk vigilante justice to new highs/lows. Unlike most of your comic book heroes, Frankie’s not above beating/torturing/killing the bad guys.
Frankly (ha! like Frank Castle!), I get it. I have a wife and kids. Like my understanding of the Hulk’s rage, I see where The Punisher’s coming from. On that level, he makes for an interesting character.
But judging by the trailers, it doesn’t look like they care too much about the psychology of The Punisher. No, unfortunately, this looks like it has the makings of every other they-done-me-wrong-now-they’re-all-gonna-pay 80s style action movie ever made. And that sucks. And it’s boring.
One of the best things about some of the recent comic book adaptations (Dark Knight? Spidey 1 and 2? Iron Man?) is that they’ve taken the material seriously. There’s a solid story with fantastic characters underneath the hood; the action and special effects just enhance it.
This, though? Looks like they’ve forgotten what’s worked and went back to the pre-Spidey crapfests. Balls.
If there’s one thing that might make this flick worthwhile, it’s Ray Stevenson. Sure, he’s not the first guy who comes to mind when I think about casting Castle, but I’ve dug him ever since I watched HBO’s Rome.
And speaking of… A little something for my fellow fans of that short-lived and underrated series (and something that might help convince others to check it out on DVD):
