Wanna play a game? I call it “Retardy: Guess Which of My Coworkers Will Be Late Today!”
The rules are simple: just figure out whether Tony or Nathan (not real names, of course) will bother showing up on time. Bonus points for guessing when they won’t come in at all, or when they say they’ll be in by, say, 11, then email at 11:30 to tell us that they aren’t going to bother coming in.
Of course, there will be days when neither arrives on time and, I’m told, occasions when both actually show up close to their scheduled start. I’ve never actually seen that happen.
To make it at least a little difficult, we’ll have to define “on time” as “within 30 minutes of scheduled start.” Otherwise, you could just guess that both would be “late” every day and pretty much guarantee yourself a shot at the title.
Now, it’s really not fair for me to make you all start throwing out guesses right away. That’d be like expecting you to guess who’ll win the Super Bowl if the closest thing you’ve seen to a football game involved Saget cracking shitty jokes over video of some well-meaning dad writhing on the ground, clutching his cojones.
So in the interest of fairness, I’ve started logging their late times, starting yesterday. There’s a little calendar in the upper-right and a page link at the top (the “retardy!” one) that’ll be updated daily with their progress.
After a few weeks, we’ll start a little contest. Haven’t worked out all the details yet, but it’ll probably involve predicting the number of times each coworker will bother showing up each day before 8:30.
Oh, and there will be some as yet undetermined lame prizes (read: junk I have around the house that the Goodwill won’t take).
