neverbeencool

Yesterday, as you might recall, I had a little reminder of exactly why I generally refuse medical attention and rely on my own wits, guile, and general imperviousness to keep me going.  Well, this morning, the fun continued.
For those of you too busy and important to follow the above link, the gist is that I [...]

So we had our first hot day of the year yesterday here in the Rose City, with temperatures peaking somewhere between Just About Perfect for Justin and OHMYFUCKINGGODKILLMENOW. Closer to the former, thankfully. Somewhere in the 80s, I think, which, for Portlanders, is like 249 in dog degrees.
Anyway.
In Portland, the littlest bit of [...]

Yes, folks. What you see here is all that remains from a Grande Non-Fat No Whip White Chocolate Mocha, purchased and consumed by Our Hero first thing this morning. And so the no coffee for Justin streak dies after approximately 49 days. So it goes.
Now, before we get into exactly what brought [...]

My stepson turned 13 earlier this year. Clearly, he’s a man now. Unfortunately, our society won’t let us celebrate this milestone the traditional way: by buying him a woman (isn’t what they do at Bar Mitzvahs?). What prudes we’ve become.
Since soliciting prostitutes for a minor was out of the question, I decided [...]