neverbeencool

Huh.

So being a big fat consumerist whore, I do a lot of online shopping.  I’m used to seeing websites making a big deal out of their sales, drawing your attention to items you can buybuybuyrightnow for pennies off the regular price.

You know what I’m talking about.  Like this ad on the Target website:

Like you don't already own this.

Well, the little Princess’s 5th birthday is fast approaching, so I was on that same Target site looking for some Littlest Pet Shop shit they’re out of in the stores.  Saw this in the search results:

Quick! Buy now before we, um, lower our price back to normal?

Don’t get me wrong, I actually adore Target.  One of my favorite places to spend money I don’t have.  But this didn’t really surprise me.  When you go to their stores, you often see bright red tags on products that aren’t really on sale.  You know, the ones that say “As Advertised!” but neglect to mention that “advertising” something doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve discounted it.

Still, though, I’m thinking it’s time to start some random drug tests for the marketing department.  Can’t imagine any other explanation for why they’d go out of their way to draw your attention to the fact that they’re actually charging more than list price.

So I have a little bit of a thing for horses.  I mean, I wouldn’t actually want to own one or anything.  Hell, keeping up with the house-broken critters is difficult enough.

And we don’t have any sort of horsie/Western decor.  I’ve never read a Louis L’Amour, and I’m not exactly fighting with Ani over her My Little Ponies.

Maybe it’s because they’re the only other creature described as “magnificent beasts” as often as I am.  Who knows.  I just think they’re purty.

So when I see the Portland Police trotting along downtown on horseback, I can’t help but take a picture or two.  Like when I saw these two last month:

The veterans on the squad get unicorns.

See?  Good looking animal.  Same with its partner in the back, though the officers were a little busy and couldn’t stick around posing for me long enough to get a good shot of him.

So when I was walking around downtown this afternoon and heard the distinctive clickety-clop of horsey feet on bricks, I reached for my camera.  Unfortunately, they were kitty-corner from the food carts and I didn’t want to miss out on the yummy pastor burrito goodnessI’d already ordered, so I had to settle for this shot from across the street:

Wonder if they write each other up for poop scoop violations?

Not the best shot, sure, but you can still tell they’re beautiful creatures.  I figured I’d just crop that one when I got back into the office and call it good.

And I am going to crop and save it.  Just not cropping around the horsies.

In case you missed him, there’s an, um, interesting looking gentleman in the lower-right corner.  Dude who looks like the bastard child of Bruce Banner and Elphaba?  Take a closer look:

It's not easy.

Go ahead.  Insert your own “Portland is a green city” joke here.

I love The Smoking Gun.  One of my favorite sites.

Was just flipping through this series of Phish-fan mugshot goodness and was shocked, SHOCKED, to see that they police could apprehend so many people for possession and/or distribution of narcotics at a Phish show.  It…  it’s just mind boggling.

Here I thought Phish phollowers were all upright citizens, incapable of breaking our nation’s drug laws.  And yet:

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One of the Trimet fare inspectors was kind enough to give me a little gift this morning:

Thankfully a warning and not the “fine up to $250.”

Here in Portland, the MAX works like this:

1. If you’re riding in the magickal land of Fareless Square, you can ride the MAX, a bus or, I believe, a Trimet employee for no charge. You just have to disembark before you cross the border into Paid Territory.
2. If you’re heading anywhere else, you have to pay.

Simple, right?

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Met my new BFF, Ice, sitting on a park bench with his girl (whose name I sadly can’t remember) while I was walking along Waterfront Park earlier this afternoon.

Bling!

POW!

Didn’t think to bring even my point-and-shoot on the walk with me, and these are the best my phone can do.  They don’t come close to doing the chain or the watch justice.